Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Happy birthday!
Happy late birthday to your favorite (or at least my favorite....) literary blog! We turned 1 in July, but I missed it, so here's a belated birthday message! To another great year. :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The Resurrection Casket, by Justin Richards
The Resurrection Casket is a Dr. Who novel that my dad passed on to me. I have my reservations about these "fanfictions that knew someone", and this book was definitely not the one to try and prove me wrong. The premise started out interesting enough - a futuristic UK that has developed through time without using electricity and modern technology because of a mysterious interference field surrounding this area (aptly named Starfall). Steam-operated robots and spaceships, the whole nine yards. Sort of a steampunk geek's futuristic dreamworld. Starfall was once terrorized by a space pirate named Hamlek Glint and his crew of merciless pirate robots. Pirates, robots, time travel, planets, treasure and spaceships? Yeah. If a 12-year-old nerd could have thrown up any more all over this book, please, let me know how in the comments. Honestly, this book started out tolerable - the Doctor and Rose get stuck in Starfall because of the "zeg" (mysterious technology-slaughtering interference field), and have to find a way to get out. After hearing tales at the local pub (of course) about Hamlek Glint's lost treasure, several men are mysteriously murdered after selling fake artifacts to local collectors. The Doctor and Rose meet a few interesting yet stereotypical characters in their search for the killer:
Jimm: The precocious, mysterious ten-year-old who likes to hang around the pub with his half-robot friend Silver Sally.
Silver Sally: A half-robot barkeep.
Bobb: Jimm's protective yet aging uncle with a strong interest and expertise in Glint's treasure.
Drel McCavity: A local wealthy man with a strong interest in Glint's treasure but no expertise. Is a tad off his rocker after his wife, Larissa, left him for someone else.
So long story short, leaving the murders wide open, the Doctor and Rose commission a ship with Sally, Bobb, McCavity, and some of Sally's robot friends to hunt down Glint's ship and treasure (including the famed Resurrection Casket - if you can't figure that one out on your own I'm not explaining it). The Doctor and Rose intend to get out of the zeg so they can get the TARDIS working again. Before leaving, the Doctor meets the commissioned killer of the con artists, who tries to kill the Doctor, but is extremely apologetic. This "monster" is by far the most ridiculous creature I have ever heard of. He is an multidimensional hitman who hates his job and is being tagged into killing several Starfall residents. His mysteriously unknown master has "Kevin" at his beck and call. He often defies "monster" stereotypes by talking about his "hobbies", like sudoku and crossword puzzles. I can't make this stuff up.
After hiding in a cupboard aboard the steam spaceship, Rose finds out *gasp* that Sally and her pals are former Glint pirates, and that they have smuggled Jimm aboard. After a dumb mistake that alerts Sally to her eavesdropping, the pirates come after the crew, chasing them all around the ship in a game of cat and mouse. They find the casket, and (another SURPRISE), McCavity's wife Larissa is the one left in it, not Glint. She's dead of course (McCavity killed her) because according to the Doctor, the "Resurrection Casket" evidently doesn't resurrect you at all. FAIL. Leaving it totally open-ended as to how she got into the casket, Richards continues with his story. Eventually it is revealed that the casket uses living tissue to turn its contents back into a baby. So Glint was released from his casket as a baby by his mate Robbie. Robbie is Bobb and Jimm is baby Glint (clearly explaining his precocious intellect and ability to comprehend completely adult concepts like philosophy and relationships). More surprising explanations and eventually hugs are exchanged and the Doctor and Rose sail off into the sunset in the TARDIS.
Richards clearly has no grasp on humor, plots or good story-telling period. The dialogue was stilted and the humor was forced, cheesy and terrible. Plot holes were completely left wide open and the story itself was shaky to begin with. I love the steampunk universe concept and think Richards could have run with it in so many different directions, but honestly I don't think he could have intentionally written it worse.
Overall: 2 out of 10.
Details:
Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: Random House UK; hardcover edition (June 13, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0563486422
ISBN-13: 978-0563486428
Jimm: The precocious, mysterious ten-year-old who likes to hang around the pub with his half-robot friend Silver Sally.
Silver Sally: A half-robot barkeep.
Bobb: Jimm's protective yet aging uncle with a strong interest and expertise in Glint's treasure.
Drel McCavity: A local wealthy man with a strong interest in Glint's treasure but no expertise. Is a tad off his rocker after his wife, Larissa, left him for someone else.
So long story short, leaving the murders wide open, the Doctor and Rose commission a ship with Sally, Bobb, McCavity, and some of Sally's robot friends to hunt down Glint's ship and treasure (including the famed Resurrection Casket - if you can't figure that one out on your own I'm not explaining it). The Doctor and Rose intend to get out of the zeg so they can get the TARDIS working again. Before leaving, the Doctor meets the commissioned killer of the con artists, who tries to kill the Doctor, but is extremely apologetic. This "monster" is by far the most ridiculous creature I have ever heard of. He is an multidimensional hitman who hates his job and is being tagged into killing several Starfall residents. His mysteriously unknown master has "Kevin" at his beck and call. He often defies "monster" stereotypes by talking about his "hobbies", like sudoku and crossword puzzles. I can't make this stuff up.
After hiding in a cupboard aboard the steam spaceship, Rose finds out *gasp* that Sally and her pals are former Glint pirates, and that they have smuggled Jimm aboard. After a dumb mistake that alerts Sally to her eavesdropping, the pirates come after the crew, chasing them all around the ship in a game of cat and mouse. They find the casket, and (another SURPRISE), McCavity's wife Larissa is the one left in it, not Glint. She's dead of course (McCavity killed her) because according to the Doctor, the "Resurrection Casket" evidently doesn't resurrect you at all. FAIL. Leaving it totally open-ended as to how she got into the casket, Richards continues with his story. Eventually it is revealed that the casket uses living tissue to turn its contents back into a baby. So Glint was released from his casket as a baby by his mate Robbie. Robbie is Bobb and Jimm is baby Glint (clearly explaining his precocious intellect and ability to comprehend completely adult concepts like philosophy and relationships). More surprising explanations and eventually hugs are exchanged and the Doctor and Rose sail off into the sunset in the TARDIS.
Richards clearly has no grasp on humor, plots or good story-telling period. The dialogue was stilted and the humor was forced, cheesy and terrible. Plot holes were completely left wide open and the story itself was shaky to begin with. I love the steampunk universe concept and think Richards could have run with it in so many different directions, but honestly I don't think he could have intentionally written it worse.
Overall: 2 out of 10.
Details:
Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: Random House UK; hardcover edition (June 13, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0563486422
ISBN-13: 978-0563486428
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